Tuesday, June 30, 2009

When I Want Both

Is loving two infidelity? Is keeping both loves selfishness? Should you let go of one? But what if both make you happy? Is it a sin?
For years now, I have been caught in between two. They didn’t fight over me. My relationship with both was smooth-sailing. I spent my days with one, my nights with the other. That seemed pretty fair. I was happy with both. The 1st was my high school love, though. But even that time, I was already spending time building the 2nd. Upon I spent happy months in the 1st relationship established until the other came calling. The 2nd was accompanied by my closest friends and they wanted us to hang out more. They took the majority of my time. And there, my 1st relationship started dying. Did I want it back? At that moment, no. I was so happy with the 2nd, why bother? 10 months of happiness. Then I wanted to break off, for some particular reasons. I missed the 1st. I wanted to fix what was lost. Stupid me. I left my 1st to die covered with cobwebs now I want to brush them all off and fix stuff. But did I have to choose? A friend told me I didn’t have to. I can have both. I thought I should only have a heart for one. He said it wasn’t necessary. So, I decided to keep both relationships. It was a risk but I compromised.
it was Dad who reintroduced me to the 1st that I established a relationship with. He texted me saying that he wanted to show me something. So I went to JB Music, where my Dad was waiting for me and he gave me a huge grin and showed me his surprise. I stared in shock. There he stood, white and beautiful, waiting patiently for me, only for me. Dad asked me if I wanted him, I asked if it was ok to him, all he said was “I’m game if you’re game.” I said I was and that’s where things rolled. I was given my 1st guitar, my 1st electric guitar. It wasn’t any of my Dad’s hand-me-down acoustics. It was a white Fender Squier. And it was mine. But that time though, I was still hooked with dancing so my enthusiasm for my Fender (Which I wanted to name Skye) wasn’t very high. This hurt Dad, of course, but I tried my very best to play with it. It was my very 1st. I gave up on dancing as I slowly got reacquainted with playing the guitar. Skye will be coming to Manila by July and I’m so excited. But could I handle dance and Skye at the same time? Could I dance with hip-hop and play Skye’s strings and give both the same amount of lobve and time? It’s worth a try. I am not supposed to choose, I don’t want to choose because both have my heart and I cannot live with just one.

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